When do a man’s compliments enhance women and impact world peace?
Guys you are so lucky you have the luxury of not having to care about the intention behind a “compliment’ the way a woman must.
Oh, I ain’t mad at yah, mind you. I get that there is no way you could ever really understand what it is to be a woman, short of pulling a Freaky Friday-like script switch like Mel Gibson did in the ridiculous 2000 movie “What Women Want”.
What I want you to hear right now is that, a well intentioned, yet clumsy complement or a cover up “compliment” given with a hidden agenda, both have the same effect on a woman no matter what the man’s intention.
What you are about to learn in this article will take you from that being that-guy, the one that women activate her security shields around, to becoming a man that knows how to get walls down and open her.
She does this wall building because of the signals she is receiving in her body, her nervous system are in place to serve her survival first and pleasure only after she is feeling safe. Women do not just hear the compliment for the face value of the words you are speaking, but she is feeling into the deeper and REAL intention.
We absorb it all, we are highly intuitive… and we do it all on automatic pilot.
We need help to get the security shields back down once they are up, so its better not to get her shields up or close her body into high security alert in the first place, right?
The goal of a true compliment is to open her, is it not? Yet men more often than not, inadvertently and with every good intention close her off to him more often than he is able to open her to him.
Intuition/felt sense is an amazing gift that is dialed up to full volume in female humans.
It is our human female design for good reason and is undeniable. It is an amazing enhanced capacity to gather important (and often not so important) data that will help her stay alive. When she offers her openness and gifts to a man and that man values her intuitive sense, and knows what to do with it, she is not only open to him, but will stay deeply loyal to him.
When her hyper sensitivity to the environment and people enhances her man and their tribes very survival she is at her best and men have value added to their lives.
When this intense data collection super power is directed into good use it is potent.
When it is closed off by the insensitive or non existent awareness of a man, it breeds fear, frustration and even feelings of contempt about that man. Your compliment is filtered through all of this primal operation that this flirtation and danger warning system is always running behind the scenes.
Oh you unskillful men, you know not what you do, what harm you cause when you offer up an unconscious come on. Your lack of charm and consciousness will close us, when what we all desire is to become more open and feel more safe.
Even worse is when a man goes down into you his own hidden rational and labels this thing he is doing at and to her, a “compliment”, it is actually just a tactic to get her to feel some kinda way, to react so he can gain a small fix of false power.
The less than awake and less than graceful man is unable see any greater use for the interaction, other than the occasional fluke that turns into sex or ego stroke, so he settles for the quick and fleeting fix of just getting her to react. Yeah, you caused her to squirm but now what? How good does that really make you feel? Is she more open or more close to you now? What was the goal again???
You injure us when you deny how we feel and only focus on the intention that you have made up in your own mind. You close us on every level. Is this your desire? Truly? If your desire is truly to open her in a complementary manner then you may need to humble yourself to learn and level up.
Women will help you along. There is nothing we want more that for men to learn to open us instead of us being left to do so for ourselves and not have any credit then to offer men on this front.
We would love nothing more than have help with our emotional stability and to open more with a man than we can on our own. We WANT to open to you, but we can’t until it is safe to do so. Safe on every level.
This means your compliment has to come from a place of concern for our safety and well being, not from a hidden agenda within you to get something from us, something that is covered up with a series of flowery, shallow words strung together in a way that pressures us to agree and say thank you, even when that is the last thing we feel about it.
You force us into a scary corner of unwelcome pressure, so we must lie to you or face your scorn, anger and hurt. How will this way ever create a more open exchange that a closed and unattractive impression?
The women you say you love, you vowed to keep safe now has a body and heart that is closed you.
Closed up from year after year of this hidden agenda coming at her because you never grew beyond this adolescent way of “complimenting” her.
She becomes less and less motivated to serve you and your tribe. This is actually good news, IF there is not too much water under the bridge. This means you, as her man, her leader, can encourage her out of this walled-up place and begin to work together to take down her walls brick-by-falling-short-brink at a time instead.
Then there is that hot girl you see and lust after on the street that, when she seems to reject you, suddenly you deem her as a “too good bitch that doesn’t know how to take a compliment with snotty attitude anyway” …she is not your sister in the world, but a target that you take shots at and shut down.
You block the world from her nurturing potential when you choose to show up this way.
But this is the good news for you good men reading this…This means you have the power to shift this dynamic. If you had the power to close her in the first place, you have the power to open her as well or at least the next woman you meet, now that you know.
It’s all the same thing energetically, no matter what level of involvement you have with a woman.
What doesn’t change is your own personal choice to create a lifestyle out of opening the all the women of the world you come in contact with vs continuing to be an unconscious wall builder.
You can continue to demand that women accept your compliments for what YOU intended them to be in your own mind, despite the reality of how it closes her and makes her body want to to run away from you … if you want to attract the same limited results over an over. Why would you? Empowered men don’t choose the limiting path.
Men you have so much power. You can either use your massive power to open us or to close us …there is no in-between.
Oh, women will continue to do what we must to survive. We will carve out for ourselves refuge from those of you that fail to adopt the ways of a skillful, valiant man.
We will still root for you to become that man, to be your very best self but the more times you choose to show up small push us to seek out a better man, a man that is not you.
We women feel it ALL and a lot of the time it feels like we are hung out to dry without insulation from men in general, only allowed to expect it from the man we serve sexually.
Sadly, even he says “stop making a fuss, boys will be boys, learn to take a compliment, let my boss get away with his lecherous energy and acts, entertain my boyz with your tolerance of their nonsense, be a good woman and shut up and put up” in oh so many subtle and less subtle ways which are really just the same thing.
We wouldn’t be speaking this if it were not TRUE for us!
We wouldn’t speak it if we didn’t want you to hear us and protect us in ways you may not have even considered.
We wouldn’t speak this if we didn’t desire your help feeling safe, so we can do our very best for you and the world. We are in pain when you dismiss us as crazy and over reactive.
Why won’t you listen???
Why won’t you protect us in the ways that make us feel the most protected instead of just in the ways that are convenient for and make sense to men?
We can’t serve your purpose as fully when you don’t. It makes no practical sense to deny us. Once again we are left as the ones seeing the big picture for the survival of our young and their young and so on.
What we crave and what the world is in need of is more free men, next level men, superior men. The next stage man is being build in our culture now and he will provide for the tribe of the world.
He will provide in a more grand and global way than ever before, not just for his own biological off spring and HIS woman due to some sort or ownership, obligation, sexual payment arrangement driven motivation but from listening to women, hearing the value and acting upon it in meaningful ways, motivated from his OWN core sensibilities.
Valiant men engage the word in such a way as to always uplift and protect.
We are making ready. More and more women are now working their issues around trusting men after so much history of abuse. We had to rise up against that old way in a fierce and aggressive manner at times. Ways that were uncomfortable for us, that were outside our design, desire and character. It HAD to be done then…we had to, but now, NOW we want the balance. We are ready to work with men to create the balance.
We want to be able to serve men with ALL we have, but we can’t until it is safe to do so. We are always “asking” every man we come in contact in all our non verbal ways and in our tentative, indirect verbal tests of him…”Will you be making it safer or more difficult for me right now?”
No more wimping out nice guys…they make us feel unsafe and burdened.
No more dominating douche-bags…they turn on our bodies but nothing more.
We desire to be in alignment with valiant, quality well balanced men that have no problem providing stability to women, insulating women form the harsh world when needed and stepping up in to loving, wise leadership or learning how with ALL he has. What we desire is more peace.
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