When The Crazy is Real – Recovering from Borderline Personality Disorder Relationships

Is She Crazy or Are You a Failure?

You may now realize that the women you attract are suffering from a clinical level of Borderline Personality Disorder. If you have been introduced to my Change Her Mood, NOT Her Mind content you are already ahead of the game.   Here’s how to recover from BPD relationships.

Medically defined cases of BPD, diagnosed or not, reach far beyond the natural female emotional range of expression.

I describe healthy female emotional processing in my coursework for men. It is the heart of my work to teach men how to guide and manage women’s amazing capacity to refine life through her unique intuitive skills.

You now have a scale to use to define what is normal emotional female expression and potentially a clinical matter.  

You may now suspect that you are dealing with a clinical level of Borderline Personality Disorder. And the truth is it’s destroying your relationship and crushing your spirit.

Realizing that you weren’t simply misreading her signals and lacking in your understanding of women is a huge first step. This isn’t your fault, but you DO have massive power to change things.

In fact, you are the only one with any real power to create a full 180 on your life.

Recovering From Borderline Personality Disorder Relationships.

What I have learned in my many years listening to men just like you, is that it will require very specific support and education to rehab yourself and get your life back on a healthy track.

Consider that nagging sense, that is getting louder, your best friend right now. It is a wake-up call that you may have fallen into something far more sinister and dysfunctional than just common relationship problems.

You now see you may require some focused and sustained help to untangle the mess.  The truth is, this relationship has caused a mess in your mind, body, heart, and life.

All You Know is You Are Exhausted 

Here is the real deal, when you’ve been attacked by, messed around, manipulated and controlled, rejected repeatedly, frantically clung to and unceremoniously dumped (maybe many times) by a Borderline Personality Disorder woman, you get worn down. Your energy for anything else, let alone your own fulfillment and self-care, becomes dulled and displaced. You may feel disoriented and hopeless much of the time.

What you are experiencing now, is a lot like being lost in a brain fog that you have come to feel as your normal. As you emerge out of this bio-chemical depressive fog, everything hurts, you are not sure you will ever recover and you are questioning the core of who you really are so you slip back into the fog.

You are not the first man to feel this way and sadly, this is becoming more and more the common cultural norm.

There is a great deal of shame attached to this repeated going back and giving up pattern. But there is no man that has been where you are that would ever shame you. My online support and study group is full of men that have been right where you are. They are recovering beautifully with coaching and proper support.

It isn’t uncommon for men exiting a BPD realtionship to feel he may even want to check out of life altogether.  The discomfort can be tremendous.

The very thought of enduring it much longer, let alone moving on and somehow finding the love and connection, your soul so desperately craves, seems overwhelming.  What I have witness is, after this surreal experience its so hard for good men to tell which end is up. Please hang on, help and hope exists!

There Is Support for Recovering From Borderline Personality Disorder Relationships and You are Not Alone.

My 20 years coaching men through break-ups and run-ins with BPD women, has offered me first-hand experience and raw data to share with you.

The good faith and brave work of the thousands of good men just like you have given me a very clear understanding of what specific knowledge the average guys needs to smooth out and lead a relationship well.

It has also created an undeniable distinction between that average guy and the hellish PTSD like symptoms you may be experiencing due to involvement with a Borderline Personality Disorder woman.

The solution is always the same, it always comes back to your self-worth. And learning how to navigate your way out of this with grace and dignity. This begins with defining the difference between pamper/treats to cope and meaningful self-care that actually empowers men to their personal greatness.

recovering from a borderline personality disorder relationship
Completely recovering from a relationship with a borderline personality disorder woman requires specific support and education.

Why Would a Good Man Like You Attract a Borderline Personality Disorder woman?

There is a very specific male personality type that tends to attract Borderline Personality Disorder women. They are like magnets for these dysfunctional women. Sometimes referred to as a Nice Guy Syndrome guy or a Norm Following Pleaser type.

Sadly, it is his decency that attracts her in the first place and ignites her rage over time. His deep desire to please, not rock the boat and earn favor as a likable guy makes him the Borderline Personality Disorder women’s perfect, subconsciously targeted victim.

Her attention seeking tactics and inability to maintain stability is aggravated by his efforts at placation. His every move marks his own growing instability, the cycle gains momentum. Daily pressure becomes more and more intense until one or the other can’t take it anymore. You are she will break apart or be smart and break free.

It is very confusing for the good guy stuck in this cycle. His every move seems to just make things worse.

Everything he offers to soothe her only increases her anxiety, acting out behaviors and escalates her threats. It becomes clear it is time to leave. You must gather a healthy support system and learn the skills you desperately need to navigate the uncoupling journey and co-parenting with the least amount of fall out possible.

You can recover from a relationship with a borderline personality disorder woman and go onto have an amazing life.

Have NO desire to repeat these patterns of dysfunctional attraction?
Want to leave this baggage behind so you can thrive with women?
Ready to break free of the hurt to attract the life you deserve?

Click here to find out more >>>
NGS Self Assessment Quiz & FREE e-Course

Get the exact support you need to recover from a relationship with a borderline personality disorder woman.
Michelle Terrell has been a health and wellness coach since 1995. In those years she collected data and the real life testimonials of thousands of good men who were feeling lost and confused in their love lives. Her workshop students dubbed her The Pistol Whip Hippie because her teaching/coaching style is irreverent, in your face and radically honest (the Pistol Whip part) with the follow up being supportive, nurturing awakened energy (the Hippie part) that inspires men to strive to be their very best.

This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. Brian

    Hi, my name is Brian. I would just like to know whether or not it is possible for a ‘nice guy’, to be in a happy, healthy relationship, with a Borderline woman? And a few tips as to how to make it ppssibly work out. Thanks in advance

    1. Michelle Terrell

      Yes Brian, it is very possible to support a woman through her BPD recovery while addressing your NGS recovery. It requires VERY specific support, new knowledge and massive emotional stamina. Tips will never help. You will both need deep inner work coaching and mind/body integration care to overcome this. Please reach out for a free 15 phone consult and enroll in free e-courses.

    2. Jane

      Only if she is actively and consistently receiving dialectical behavior therapy. Otherwise, do not fool yourself that more love, attention, and compassion towards her will ever fill her bottomless pit” of need. You cannot help her, you can only look after yourself. Do not go down that rabbit hole!

  2. Misty Oglesby

    I’m a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder. I do not appreciate this article, as we are not considered “baggage” or “crazy”. Educate yourself. Life coach? joke.

    1. Michelle Terrell

      It seems you didn’t read the article or didn’t grasp the point of the blog is to highlight how men will call women “crazy” when they lack education and understanding about their role in women’s emotional well being and especially feel confused about their part in supporting both his and her recovery. Men suffer and are damaged by trying to navigate life with an untreated BPD mate without proper support and skills. I am a men’s coach, so my content is often designed to appeal to men WHERE THEY CURRENTLY ARE not where they will be after coaching. Its called marketing to the level of the problem. I hope this helps ease your anxiety and if you have an issue with my work and content simply avoid it in the future. But if you are sincerely in therapy to manage your BPD, I would suggest you take this article and dismantle your defensive, combative response with them so you can process your outrage and need to lash out in this way. Women that are significantly healed and intelligent, find my work to be helpful and much needed. People that refuse to get help to recover are a major social problem so if you sense any judgement on my part about this matter, it would lay with my concern that so many are going untreated and adding to family and community problems rather than being contributing members of the human family.

  3. Robert

    I have been in a ten month relationship with a female BPD. She’s married and was supposed to divorce. She constantly flipped back and forth from him to me. He knew about us but refused to divorce her. They have a young daughter and he would use the daughter as his pawn. This last time I told her we needed to take a break and to call me when she was divorced. She went crazy and accused me of some terrible things in front of him to get him back. I have blocked her completely but am devastated.

    1. Michelle Terrell

      This sounds like a very challenging and unhealthy situation, but it is not all for nothing, there is tremendous personal growth potential for you through this experience. if you are willing to step up and frame this in that way and use it to create next steps toward living your best life.

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