Living “Change Her Mood, NOT Her Mind” Makes You an Agent for World Peace
Change Her Mood, Change the World
We all have a gift and a purpose in our lives to share. Mine is viewed as sorta odd to many people. My retired teacher and coach grandfather got a kick out of teasing me about it by telling everyone that his granddaughter completed 7 years of college just to teach men how to get laid. He found this very amusing.
He was partly on track, I mean god knows I have coached many a married man that was struggling with next no idea how to open his wife fully to a desire for sex which is basically that he don’t know how to get laid, right? The more noble sounding description of what I do is that I am professional educator that feels a call upon her life to help men relate better to women. I am committed, for life to this mission.
The Change Her Mood, NOT Her Mind concept is the core teaching am most widely known for, that has offered the most significant relief for my clients lives and has caught fire in the healing arts and relationship coaching community. I want to share more about this with you, so you too may have some relief and more clarity.
What I discovered, in almost 20 years if talking to frustrated men, was that even the most calm, boring of marriages and the most mundane of dating styles were greatly affected by female “drama” or instinctual “testing” for safety/security/stability. The key concept to take note of here is a man’s ability feel into a woman’s moments of female-ness and handle it with grace, charm and a conscious intention to offer her stability that opens her to him and to more of herself.
Simply put, Change Her Mood, NOT Her Mind is emotional awareness training for motivated men that want better lives with women. When this awareness is used in combo with a simple pre-plan for his response to a woman’s emotional life, he can see and guide its potential for intimacy building between them.
The goal is for him to not get caught up in her “drama” of the moment but instead, responded with a commanding presence to offer her stability. This builds loyally, captures her attention and provides the relationship the peace it needs for them to go deeper into knowing each other. It serves everyone well.
Men that are able to come along in a process of learning how to handle themselves well, when a woman is in a “mood” i.e in an emotional flow, they tend to do well in every other area of life. It is simply true that interacting with women can expand a man to his greatest potential or crush him and derail his sense of purpose.
Men that feel confident in their ability to open women and create space for her to be free with her emotional life around him, see this as her bringing him her greatest gift as a female member of his tribe. When he becomes empowered in this way he no longer reacts emotionally or avoids her altogether, he finds that EVERYTHING changes in his life.
He knows her drama isn’t the enemy, it is an opportunity. He views relating to women is a vehicle for potent self-discovery.
This journey requires men to do a scary thing… CHOOSE to walk directly into her wild women drama, touch her fire, humor her though her mild annoyances and manage her tendency to withhold and withdrawal. I ask men to do this seemingly insane thing. I ask them to learn to utilize and convert her “crazy” and her “drama” into something constructive and bonding.
To be clear, this is in no way a suggestion that men give women permission to run amok emotionally, be abusive, use men or stream roller him unconsciously. I am suggesting something VERY counter intuitive from the way most men have been socialized to do things. To let go of ways that have only resulted in disappointing and limited results again and again.
I asked my clients to stand with her fire instead of avoiding, placating, attempting to convince her mind and hating every moment of it… and they DID!
These men were having a complete turn-around in their experiences with women that was surprising, even to me! This was so very encouraging and powerful! This was a sign for me to keep teaching, keep being bold with the message and keep showing up for men.
These results fit with my desire to help men create peace in their individual bodies, increase joy in their homes and quiet their over-worked minds in order to impact a global vision of harmony in the world.
NOW had it! I had a bigger frame on what was to become become the most laser focused and potent lesson I teach… Change Her Mood, Change the WORLD!
Over the years many of my mentors from the healing arts community spoke of this current time in human evolution as a time when we are all working on developing our capacity for personal emotional stability/maturity. As a human family we are learning how to cultivate an embodiment of peace within, so that we might have greater harmony in the world. Once you have read this article you may find yourself perking up your ears when you hear people referring to The Shift or 3D and 5D people the more you move into these concepts. Lots of talk about this now.
The lights went on in my work when I broke down the steps to understanding Change Her Mood, NOT Her Mind ! It only made sense that couples would be working out this worldwide growth within their relationships in all kinds of confusing and messy ways.
As I shared with clients what I was figuring out, I witnessed their eyes opening to the big picture. I felt them experiencing significant relief just with the introduction of the concept that, yes, they were part of a bigger world mission thought their relationships.
In fact, it turns out, the bottom line real reason for individuals to couple up is for this personal growth work to happen and all the rest was just extracurricular daily life activity. This new frame on relating seemed to help people feel less confused, my clients reported feeling less personally attacked as individuals, their daily dealings with others became lighter, and they became more empowered in their lives with women and in general.
I watched my clients evolve into agents of world peace! They became free men that attracted and protected the space for free women to dance alongside them.
Whenever humanity is in a collective transition time, it is always challenging and tumultuous. There will be people that frantically cling to the old ways as well as those that rush to the new ways with childish over enthusiasm. Wise people know that balance is best, there are step to learn.
What we are seeing at this time in history are teachers stepping up to provide balance and direction to this inevitable chaotic energy. They are guiding and harnessing this wild energy so that we can develop to our next evolutionary step globally.
This sounds a lot like the emotional life of a woman day to day and what is possible when a good man steps up and provides her conscious stewardship, doesn’t it?
Recently, I have been made aware that some members of the “Pick up Artist” industry had grabbed hold of this Change Her Mood concept. Thing is, what was missing from every one of these articles is the bigger global frame. The idea that how we do our personal relationships is what shapes the global community. It’s a Micro to Macro thing baby!.
This ripped off, diluted version focused on the GETTING of one woman and further, getting one-over-on women in general. It appealed to the under developed needy guy that only wanted to know how to learn short cuts to GET a certain result from women and to his GETTING off in her without as many objections.
Although the language and the look seemed the same the focus was not on how to live an amazing life as whole man. The hidden agenda was, as always, keeping men stuck in a limited GETTER focus so that a profit could be made.
There seems to me to be an observable scale that some are naturally intuitively aware of and some more academically aware of to use as a teaching vehicle. This scale can be used to assess where men are developmentally in their current capacity to use this teaching in a constructive way. This can be used to for things like weeding out potential dates, encouraging friendships and in choosing a coach to hire for personal growth work. In other words, it is an assessment tool to determine where to devote resources and when to keep moving along.
When we look at this as simply as a series of behavioral patterns over a man’s lifetime we can see right where the needy dudes get stuck and where powerful, high value men gravitate to and beyond.
There seem to be 5 distinct stages of development in men beyond their teen years as it correlates to their ability to relate to their own sense of self and with women.
Here is my breakdown on how using “Change Her Mood Not Her Mind” looks at every stage on this scale. There is no judgment on any of these stages. You are where you are and that is perfect for YOU. But I do encourage you to keep growing!
1) The Below 101 Level Dude
He is that emotionally under developed guy with gaps in his social education that is just starting his journey to empower himself in his life with women for his own personal reasons. Using Change Her Mood Not Her Mind just to get her to stay engaged in conversation with him is an accomplishment in and of itself. The longer he can hold her attention, in any capacity, even with lines and techniques – the more of a win it is. He is captivated by the conquest more than the woman a person.
He feels burdened by this idea that men must lead in these interactions, and is still a bit pouty and put out about women being so difficult. He complains and blames in an amount equal to or more so than he makes an effort to grow. Most of what he does is still tainted by fear of rejection. He processes what women have to say that feels harsh or too close to home as “mommy being mean” or hot girl being a bitch to him instead of as vital feedback to be utilized wisely.
The Women He Attracts:
Women are dismissive of this type of man and do not go out of their way to help support him unless he is family or they are being paid to act like they care. The women that do seek him out do so to use him for the resources he brings, or are very emotionally immature and thus in a dire straights due to their own poor life skills and application of such. They may also simply be too sheltered and naive to know any better.
2) The 101 Level Basic Guy
He can hold a woman’s attention socially for as long as he likes. He is using less tricks and more real conversation and genuine connection to do so.
He can hear what women complain about with regard to men with interest and isn’t so emotionally charged about it. He is able to feel that there is something he needs to work on, but is still confused about what or how. He isn’t fully convinced as to why he should make an effort. He is still struggling with integrating an internal motivation. His focus is still mostly around personal gain, with brief glimpses of the bigger picture now and then.
The Women He Attracts:
The women in his world see him as boyfriend potential, but also see that potential isn’t fully developed yet. Women will often desire a friendship with this guy, or possibly have sex with him once or twice, but only lower quality women (women with less assets to offer a man) will consider him a man worth investing herself in as his girlfriend or as her project.
3) The Balanced Motivator
He can shift a woman’s emotional state with confidence by using the practices of Change Her Mood Not Her Mind but still isn’t fully at ease with it as his natural way. He still has to think about what he is doing and it still feels a bit like a burden on him and all men, but has the bigger goal in mind in all that he does.
He can clearly see the bigger picture reasons for being a man that is part of a global solution, not just to attain something in for his own limited personal use.
The Women He Attracts:
The women in his world stay a while and then move on, having only offered a portion of their gifts and support to him.
4) The Empowered Gifter
He sees his ability to stabilize feminine energy as a gift he can offer specific women in an intense way and in a more general way to any unstable energy he encounters He does this without feeling drained or burdened. Change Her Mood Not Her Mind has become his super power.
He is at ease now that he feels he understands that a big part of his purpose on Earth as a man is Change Her Mood Not Her Mind, and he has a strong willingness to provide it to anyone in need. He can feel the joy this brings women and it fills him with a sense of self-esteem that is highly attractive and respectable.
The Women He Attracts:
He is the most likely to settle into a deep, long term relationship and continue his emotional growth work via the twists and turns of an intense exchange over time with one high value woman or just a few very special women.
5) The Artist
He is fully integrated with his desire for sexual interactions with women and his desire to make the world a better place.
He can take or leave sex and women and often gets caught up in offering his bigger creative gift to the world to the point of ignoring his personal sex life. He doesn’t simply use Change Her Mood Not Her Mind for his own purpose or even as a gift to just the women of the world. He uses it to create purposeful stability in the larger world picture and stays in that frame consistently.
The Women He Attracts:
Women enjoy being around him, give him space to do his art and support him with her unique nurturing gifts. They respect him for being so strong and clear in his purpose, even if it isn’t fully profitable according to worldly terms of success.
What developmental psychologists and behavioral health professionals will tell you is that men learn their masculinity, thus their capacity to relate well to women, through rites of passage and by taking on life challenges. So whatever stage you are in, it is just simply where you are right now. No judgment just observe it.
It just IS – however, if you avoid challenges, you WILL get stuck.
Accept and own the stage you are in, because through embracing it you can build upon that stage and keep deepening your experience with women.
The problems come in when men get stuck in a stage and refuse to keep doing the work to keep growing. They never level up due to fear that blocks them or if he convinces himself that being a GETTER type of guy is his max. He is bought in to this limit because where his is now is so much better than where he was prior that, that he sees no reason and have no motivation to keep going the messy work of growing in his emotional life.
For example, a man that has been studying how to pick-up women for years and years on end or is 50 and still in GETTER stage this becomes felt by all the more evolved people around him as simply pathetic and unattractive. Mature women find this guy repulsive and he isn’t felt by more evolved men as of much benefit to the world.
In fact, he actually becomes a drain on the world resources like a giant leach. Boys in men’s bodies lurking about, fixated on getting women or how to get-one-over-on women, do not add value to the world.
Further, when these skills are used to manipulate and cause hurt, it creates extra work for the more evolved and uplifting folks in the world. That energy could be put to much more constructive use. It makes life harder for everyone when we don’t have strong, loving male leadership in the world. Leadership that has a deep desire to offer stability to an in-stable society.
So stop making extra work for mommy and daddy and start showing up as a man that has the power to change, not only his world, but her world and the WHOLE world!
Keep moving though these levels and start feeling whole, start feeling really heard, start attracting the utmost of regard and respect from others.
My focus when I teach Change Her Mood Not Her Mind is to help men cultivate a strong internal desire to offer stability as his gift to the larger world, as his chosen lifestyle.
I teach and support men because the more men we have in the world that are at ease in keeping inner desire high will of course keep a sense of rejection and disconnect low. THIS is good for the world we are leaving behind to our children. Care to join me on this mission?
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